I recently read an essay about the wishful thinking going on in S4 and decided that where I wanted to take the discussion would be better done here. I’m likely to get a bit lengthy and I definitely will be wrapped up in my S4 theory that a lot of reality presented in season four has been illusory – filtered through Dean’s experience and perception. In fact, this veers into wild speculation because I am unspoiled for anything that will happen after 4.15 Death Takes a Holiday.

The header tag on my SPN weblog is “maybe it’s just the wind.”  I thought I was being a little clever and self-deprecating about the importance of anything I’d be liable to natter on about here.  Now, though, I’m thinking it was inspired! The line is from 4.01 Lazarus Rising when Dean and Bobby are hanging out in the barn waiting for their summoning to work. Sam is off with Ruby at the time. When the roof starts to rattle, Dean says, “Wishful thinking, but maybe it’s just the wind.”

What if Dean got his wish? What if it was just the wind? Do we have more than Castiel’s word for what he is? As I’ve speculated before, could Castiel be a construct? Maybe something like the player-props populating the Trickster’s world? Those melted away before becoming actual people the boys (or we) invested in. What happens to characters who are around enough to take on a life of their own? What would it take to power and control that kind of thing? (Oh, SAM!)

What would have started such a thing? I think Ruby was born out of Dean’s deal to bring Sam back. Dean was told to wonder whether what he brought back was 100% pure Sam. The next episode Sam has a shadow demon girl whose biggest (only?) priority is to protect Sam. She comes up with a history when the boys need it from her (unknowingly write it for her?) to explain having a witchcraft antidote potion in 3.09 Malleus Maleficarum. I think she’s entirely sincere about remembering what it is to be human and being different from other demons (as Dean is repeatedly told he is different throughout 4.15!).  She undergoes a noticeable personality change during Dean’s time in hell. Was she infused with some measure of Dean’s sacrifice/energy to temper the selfishness of her deal-made origins?

Sam’s sincere excitement and subsequent disappointment at meeting Castiel has me pointing back to the idea of mutual storytelling I’ve seen since at least the Anna-arc (and looking backwards from there). It’s how I explain the extra beats and the deferrals about who will take charge of the next part of story. Sam opens a door and Dean walks through and fills it with furniture – and ISSUES. Sam gives Dean an angel and Dean makes it declare God wants Sam to stop using his powers. Sam’s ISSUES can’t be kept completely clear either – not these days as it becomes increasingly difficult to tell where one brother ends and the other begins. I think Sam’s power-boosting gives him more control over the illusions and magic – especially as Dean strengthens and is more of an active, aware participant.

Obviously I’m of the opinion that Dean would still be in hell without Sam’s abilities. I think Sam is pulling Dean back to reality little by little. The lies (everyone is lying) have been necessary. I feel just awful for Sam that the Anna business didn’t result in Dean accepting his own grace. Now I think we have the start of Dean recognizing the lies he’s helped to tell. It’s how we get a boy with soccer trophies afraid to go with the reaper, Sam swearing he doesn’t ever have to, and Dean regretting he didn’t when he had the chance. It’s how we get Ramone-loving, Sam-teasing Pamela agreeing to help under protest and paying with her life. The whole thing is so sad it make me want to weep.

I do not give two figs for the apocalypse at this point. I’m all about the boys getting right with themselves and each other again. (I’ll know it when we get a proper “Bitch.” ” Jerk.” exchange.) The only significance the angel-demon war holds for me right now is if the seals are acting like a deadline such as Dean faced in 3.16 Time Is on My Side or 4.06 Yellow Fever. Oh! A less frightening way to think of it would be if they are like a countdown to waking up from a hypnotic state. Maybe returning from hell is like depressurizing from deep-sea diving and dangerous if not done in stages?

Tessa emphasizes the fear people experience and the lies they tell themselves and encourages Dean to trust his instincts. Dean’s instinct from the start was that angels don’t exist and “maybe it’s just the wind.” Be careful what you wish for, indeed, if it means rabbit holes like realizing your angel (or heaven forbid, your brother) isn’t real. I hope and pray the boys remember Layla’s message about the importance of having faith even when the miracles don’t happen.

EDIT Mar. 16, 2009: to add tags and link to me still yapping about this (esp. regarding Cole) in our icine thread.

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