I am unspoiled. If you know what is happening, please don’t tell. Let the show do that in January. If you are unspoiled, please join in the speculation! Where does this work? Where doesn’t it?

Oh. Oh. oh.  Would they go there? Could they pull off something like that? How could it not get squicky? At first I was all creeped out by the idea, but it won’t leave me alone. I see a way for it to fit with my other recent thoughts about this season so I’m going with it for now.

I made a crack in the forum thread about Dean being Sybil.  Now I’m rewatching 4.10 “Heaven and Hell.”

Anna’s come out of hypnosis remembering she’s an angel (mind you, she was Castiel and Uriel’s boss which of course recalls them having to follow Dean’s orders in 4.07 “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester”) who disobeyed and lost her grace (as Dean did dealing away his soul). Together, Anna and Ruby sum up the situation saying heaven wants Anna dead and hell just wants her. “Sister, you’re the Stanley Cup,” is how Ruby puts it. (familial address and a sports reference – would Ruby know from hockey?) Anna decides to get her grace back. Sam offers the possibility that Anna and her grace literally fell like a comet and meteor, and Anna accepts this crackpot idea. Sam is getting very good at understanding Dean and working the improv, I think. Magic grace trees?  (Dean coming up with an amulet of grace needs its own meta, I think. Also, Dean took off his amulet-from-Sam for Impala sex this ep which we haven’t seen before that I’m aware of. Ruby wears a necklace, too, which I finally got around to noticing last week.)

Cut to Sam explaining TO RUBY his dreamweaving theory about where to look for Anna’s grace-meteor. Ruby calls his deduction, “Pretty buff for a nerd.” Then Ruby apologizes to Sam for bringing him the problem of Anna Milton. Ruby says of the angel and demon armies, “It’s Godzilla and Mothra.” (Hello, Dean!!) Sam asks if she wants to dump Anna and run, and when Ruby considers doing that, Sam says to forget it.

Ruby fills Sam in on Alastair (Dean’s personal torturer/would be mentor who we SEE torturing Ruby before episode’s end) as hell’s “Picasso with a razor.” She advises Sam that he “Should pull him out. Throw him back in the pit.” She goes on to talk about Sam’s abilities getting flabby and that he knows what he has to do to get back in shape. Sam refuses, “I’m not doing that anymore.” I haven’t worked out the ambiguity in that exchange yet, but it’s clear Sam and Ruby are both going to be stubborn about the situation. Ruby says they need to pray Anna gets her grace back.

Obviously, I’m entertaining the idea that as much as Anna = Dean, so might Ruby = Dean.  (The phrasing, the planning/strategizing with Sam, the apology, and the guilt and hardness.) The question becomes whether Ruby(Dean) is a recent phenomena or goes back to the introduction of the character in S3 after Sam is resurrected through Dean’s deal-making.  It would be an explanation for all the teleporting to wherever Sam is, etc. Oh, and the “That’s my boy,” (already stealing Dean’s shtick!) and “little fallen angel on [Sam's] shoulder” bothered me when she said those lines at the end of 3.04 “Sin City.” The more I think about it, the more it fits. She remembers what it means to be human, dislikes Dean, and has one goal only – to help Sam survive once Dean is gone.  (Was Bela meant to be another facet of Dean?)

Did Dean being cut up into little pieces every day in hell lead him to fracturing and dissociating? Is everyone from S4 some aspect of Dean that Sam needs to guard and help him reclaim? (Also, I need to go back and think about what happened during the time Sam was dead and possibly came back other than “one hundred percent pure Sam.” Could all of this be Sam’s view? I’m so used to seeing with Dean’s point of view that I could be assuming when I shouldn’t. Aargh! This is stupid and now I’m getting a headache.)

PLUS. Reality… porn. Porn… reality.  Were there three separate references to Dean’s thoughts sliding to the porn side of the spectrum in 4.10?  Of course Sam would use that tendency. (4.05 Monster Movie is fun to think about with Sam’s learning curve regarding Dean’s libido in mind.) I’m not sure if/when I’ll be able to rewatch 4.09 “I Know What You Did Last Summer” now I have the idea settling in, though.  Because, you know, um, Sam and Ruby are physically intimate prior to the Dean’s return.  Oh, dear.  Ruby wouldn’t have been consciously aware of their brother relationship (or maybe she was?  tempting Sam with “it’s wrong”), but SAM would have known, I think. Uriel and demons alike taunt them for it now. The incredible hoop of obtaining a certificate to prove that Ruby’s body’s original owner wasn’t a factor was to make the fans more accepting, sure, but oh, my. Maybe it was also Dean’s way of daring Sam to prove how twisted their bond is. And it is – with or without an act of incest. There really wasn’t ever much boundary between the boys, and I think there’s even less now.

This is after the 4.08 “Wishful Thinking” episode where the original wish was to have someone love you more than anything in the world.  So, Sam gives Dean that in the next episode. He tells Dean a story about Sam giving in to Ruby’s advances and that she saved Sam’s life and he trusts her to protect Anna. I didn’t see regret and/or shame in Sam over it either. The sex never had to actually happen, not even in Dean’s limbo world (unless you’re a viewer who is so inclined). Dean did stop the supposed flashback before it was too late (so to speak). Dean simply has to accept that Sam would give to and take from the Ruby part of Dean whatever is needed. Afterward, Dean is able to consider Ruby as “different from other demons.” I feel bad now that she couldn’t enter Bobby’s panic room (ha! – good one coming up with that, btw, guys) and be safe with the others forever and ever.

In the car with his Penthouse Forum letter, Dean’s response to Sam when prompted to rein it back in is, “You call this reality?”  I’m sure Dean is getting closer to understanding and I’m reminded of his first question of the season for Sam. “What’d it cost? Bringing me back?” And that frightens me for Sam – brilliant, best brother ever! Sam – all over again.

Maybe Ruby is really an embodiment of the dark dangerous side of the bond between Sam and Dean (making Anna the noble, if damaged, embodiment of sacrifice in their relationship?) If Sam can accept/trust/love Ruby, then Dean can trust enough to make another step in healing? (Yes, Titanic levels of corn AND cheese, but I think we’re establishing that’s how Dean processes the world, particularly at this stage of his post-hell experience.) This would have been back before the real Dean woke in the ground, right, though?  It makes sense that the writing wasn’t providing enough clues yet. OR, do I now hope that all the talk of Rich Milton not being Anna’s real father and her being a miracle to her barren mother means Dean is not a Winchester by blood?

It does make me sad to think the powerful, perfect Castiel might not be real.

One of the comments I made in the thread right after the ep aired was not liking the late reveal of the plan to bring the demons and angels together and let them confront each other. Now I think that was another perfect choice. Ruby willingly set herself up for torture (and the risk of more) rather than give up Sam or Anna. I’m going to cry next time I watch it. The plan was a surprise, but if I’m right about this, then I think it’s another clue of a bigger reveal to come.  Goodness, I can’t think of another time I’ve done such a turn around about a character with a single (speculative) revelation.  She is my new favorite character. (Not really. They ALL are. Season four is killing me with making me think and feel for our boys.)

Once again. I am unspoiled. If you know what is happening, please don’t tell. Let the show do that in January. If you are unspoiled, please join in the speculation! Where does this work? Where doesn’t it? I don’t insist on being right about any of these specifics, and would love to read other ways to think about what the show is giving us.

***** When I searched the forums for the link I included above to “That’s my boy,” I also hit on a post of Dean Smiling. S1-2 were much simpler, weren’t they? Enjoy!