Legion is the movie that dares to ask the question, “What if we remade The Prophecy without all that troublesome plot and characterization?” Loud, incoherent, and notably lacking in Viggo Mortenson taking a turn as Satan, Legion could be used as promotional material in the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement! Ha! Internet hyperbole! Seriously, though, it [...]
The review that will leave you asking… “Why?” The first scene of Just Friends treats us to the sight of Ryan Reynolds in a fat suit and retainer, mugging for the camera as he croons a ballad into a mirror. His chin disappears into a bulbous mass of fake flesh, from which two beady eyes [...]
Penned by Juno scribe Diablo Cody, Jennifer’s Body is a black horror-comedy that dares to tell the amazing and unlikely story of Megan Fox transforming into a man-eating bitch. Our story opens with Needy (played by the pop-eyed and comically adorable Amanda Seyfried, somehow crammed into the Plain Jane role) kicking some poor orderly’s ass [...]
Say there, movie lover, do you love mutants? How about swords? How about mutants with swords… for hands? And other people killing sword-hand mutants with swords? Well, if so, Mutant Chronicles is the movie for you. As the title deftly implies, Mutant Chronicles is the chronicle of some mutants, and how they killed some guys [...]
I imagine we’re nowhere near the nadir of bullshit Avatar stories in the media, but here’s a good candidate: Taiwanese man dies while watching Avatar! A 42-year-old Taiwanese man with a history of high blood pressure apparently died from a stroke while watching the film, Agence France Presse reported. In a truly awesome stroke of [...]
Daybreakers: I didn’t have the heart to post on Icine and say this looks like a complete piece of shit. There was a time when I regarded the presence of Sam Neill as some sort of mark of quality; even an uneven mess like In the Mouth of Madness was rendered enjoyable by Neill’s well-meaning [...]